Tuesday, July 10, 2012

An "I'm Not Going to Be Popular" Kind of Post

I'm going to put this out there and it's not going to be popular.

I'm not reading 50 Shades and I'm not seeing Magic Mike.


There it is.  I said it.  If you're reading or watching, please know I'm not judging.  Many of my friends and even my 17 year old sister have seen the movie.  My sweet mom wants to read the books (that was before she knew what they were about.).

Again, I want to say I'm not passing judgement on you if you're reading the 50 Shades trilogy or if you've seen Magic Mike three times, I'm just saying why I'm not.  And I'm not saying I'm better than you because I'm not either.  I just have a strong conviction on this topic.

It's scary to me how so many women have jumped on the "mommy porn" train when we'd all be going crazy if our husbands/boyfriends were saying and posting the same things on Facebook or Twitter.  It seems to me that we're (women here) ok with reading "erotic" literature, but most of us would be appalled if we walked in to seeing our man looking at Playboy (it's only for the articles, right?).  There's not a difference to me.

And what about Mike?  Would you be ok with your man going to see Magic Melissa?  I think not.  


The 50 Shades trilogy focuses on a young woman and a manipulative billionaire.  This woman essentially gives herself over to Grey and eventually, they become involved physically in what most of us would consider to be a very unhealthy relationship.  The trilogy is essentially full of BDSM (Google it).

I don't have daughters, but if I ever do, I don't want them to think this kind of stuff - this behavior - constitutes a loving relationship.  And I certainly don't want our two little sons thinking this is how you treat a woman.  Manipulation, dominance, and all the things that go along with it are horrible.

As far as Magic Mike goes, male strippers are just not my thing.  But more importantly, the whole premise of this movie is just not cool.  Is it really ok to teach our sons and daughters that "relationships" are all about sex?  That it's ok to do drugs, sleep with people you've just met, and then one day, feel sorry about it all and start a relationship?  Last time I checked, that's not what a solid relationship is founded upon.

Meredith went to see the movie Friday night with some friends and hated it:



In case you can't read it, she said: That movie was AWFUL last night!  I wanted to pour Clorox into my brain to try to erase the two hours I spent watching that nasty garbage.  

For me, it's not about wanting to be a prude and not reading or watching something that's sexual in nature (we have all read books and watched movies with these scenes).  It's more about what it's about.  It's the mainstream acceptance that these things are normal and ok.  How can we as Christian (or non-Christian) women say that we accept this?  How can we partake/enjoy something that we know we wouldn't want our sons or daughters doing or believing it's ok?  How is it ok for us to read and watch things we wouldn't want our husband's reading or watching?  I trust Kevin completely as he trusts me, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't want him to choose to read or watch porn no matter how "soft core" we might deem it to be.  It's about love and respect.  

It's often said that marijuana is a gateway drug.  Books like these and movies like this are similar.  You and I might be able to read the books and watch the movie without thinking anything about it, but not everyone can.  You and I are happy and fulfilled in our relationships, but not everyone is.  Unhealthy relationships, illicit sex, drug use, abuse, unhappiness, and a general feeling of "I want more" or "why can't my life be like that?" run rampant in today's society.  Becoming emotionally involved in and/or desensitized to these things causes problems.  

I try to think of things this way: the old, tried and true Garbage In, Garbage Out test.  Is this something that's going to add value or quality to my life and allow me to be better or is is something that's pointless and useless?  I'm all for having fun, but to me, fun isn't defined as reading about an unhealthy relationship between a man and woman or watching men see how many women they can get.

What do you think?

Here are two posts that I thought were great on this subject:
50 Shades of Magic Mike - MelissaJenna

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