The Wife I Want to Be

In 23 short days, I will become a wife.  What kind of wife do I want to be?  This question is one that I've thought about most of my life.  Not always consciously, but one that has always been there.  When reading about the Proverbs 31 Woman as part of She Reads Truth last week, I started thinking even more about my role as a wife, mother, and woman.

I like to think of myself as an atypical woman, and I think Kevin would agree.  I'm not moody, emotional, controlling, nagging, spiteful, or any of those other words that many use to describe women, especially wives.  Those are certainly not words I would ever want to be said about me by Kevin or anyone else.  So, what kind of wife do I want to be?  What kind of words do I want to describe me?  I've thought long and hard about this and these are the things I want to be me.  They're in no particular order as I think they're all equally important.

I want to be the prayerful wife. There is nothing greater that I can do for Kevin, myself, and our marriage than to cover it in prayer.  Turning our marriage over to God is the greatest thing we can do.  I pray daily for Kevin over all aspects of his life.  This isn't something I really talk about, but it's something I do.  I care about even the little teeny tiny things in his life and God does, too.

I found this great link on Pinterest about praying for your husband.   While it's about praying specific things for your husband for 31 days, I decided I'd get a jump start and pray the daily prayers for Kevin for the 31 days leading up to our marriage.

(via Raising Godly Children)

I want to be the happy wife.  I'm a naturally happy person.  It takes a lot to make me upset or mad.  I want Kevin to always view me as happy.  Sure, I know there will be times and things that upset me or bother me, but I want to be the happy wife and not just someone who acts happy, someone who is truly happy.  And I am.

I want to be the loving wife.  It goes without saying that I love Kevin.  I'm crazy in love with him, too!  I want him to always know by my words and my actions how much I love him.  I want my love for him to radiate in all I do.  I want him to see my love in the little things and the big things and be secure in this love.  I want him to know and see that my love for him grows and strengthens.

I want to be the desired wife.  As a woman, I think we all long to be wanted and desired.  I want to be the person he can't get out of his head and can't wait to get home to.  To be cheesy, I'm going to borrow a line from the song "I Want You to Need Me" by Celine Dion: I want to be your fantasy, and be your reality, and everything between.  Cheesiness over.  :) In all seriousness, though, this is what I want to be.  I want to look my best and take the best care of myself for him and most of all, I want to be desired by him.

I want to be the communicative wife.  Communication is so, so, so important in any relationship, but especially in marriage.  I want to always communicate my feelings, thoughts, desires, needs, and whatever else you'd like to add to this list to Kevin.  I think we do a good job communicating with each other about everything, but sometimes, there are things that are hard to talk about, but need to be said.

I want to be the honest wife.  This goes without saying and could really be thrown in above with communication.  Honesty and trustworthiness are two of the most important things in a marriage.  Kevin is the most honest person I know.  He always tells me how he feels about things, and it's one of the things I love most about him.  It doesn't mean that I'll like what he says or he'll like what I say, but it means we'll always be open with each other.

I want to be the focused wife.  Life gets busy.  We all know that to be true.  I don't want to ever take my focus off of Kevin and our relationship.  I want to do and say things that show Kevin I'm focused on him.  I don't think you can be the best for everything else, family included, if you're not taking time to focus on each other.  Even in the busyness of life, five minutes of pure focus on each other can do wonders.  And, besides, I've read that it's good for your relationship to kiss for one minute every day!  That only leaves you with four!  ;)

I want to be the healthy wife.  You know how I feel about being healthy.  I think it's so important to lead a healthy lifestyle in general and I want to be healthy for my husband.  I want to look and feel my best for us.

I want to be the respecting and respected wife.  I respect Kevin so much and I hope he always sees it.  I feel like the same respect he shows me, I show him, too.  I don't ever want to talk down to him and promise to not ever say anything disrespecting about him to others. I really think that if there's something that bothers me, I should talk to him about it and not others, and I know he feels the same.

I want to be the supportive wife.  Support is so important.  I want Kevin to know I support him in everything he does and wants to do.  It's amazing what we can do and how bold we can be when we know someone's there with us and beside us every step of the way.

I want to be the encouraging wife.  I like to think I'm an encourager.  We all need some encouragement sometimes.  Even me, and trust me, that's hard to say.  I want to always be encouraging to Kevin and build him up.  I want him to know he can always talk to me and count on me to listen and encourage him in anything.

I want to be the treasured wife.  I want Kevin to treasure me, and I know he does.  Knowing that I'm treasured, loved, and desired are the best things to me and it's those things that make me better.

I want to be the understanding wife.  I want Kevin to know he can always tell me anything with no judgement.  I want to be understanding of him, his thoughts, needs, upsets, and everything in between.

I want to be the wife who strives to be better.  Kevin and I are both the people who want to be better and do better.  I don't want to be a complacent wife.  I want to get better and do better for him, myself, and our relationship.  That might mean having some spontaneity, trying new things, letting go of old things.  Personally, there are two things that are sensitive to me and really, it's because of the past.  I know that they are things I need to work on to be better and I will.

I want to be the inventive wife.  I want us to come up with new things to do, special things, and traditions of our own.  I want to always be looking for new ways to show Kevin that I love him and share my love with him.  Making memories, you know!  I found the websites below via Pinterest that I think are just great.  Click on the image to go to the article.

(50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband via Mom Life Today)

(118 Fun and Easy Marriage Tips via Stupendous Marriage)

All in all, I want to be the best wife that I can be for Kevin.  I want him to feel fortunate to have me by his side.  I want to be an example for the boys of what a wife should be and I want our marriage to be one that they want one day.  I absolutely adore this man and I can't wait to spend every day by his side!