As I sit here to write this, I feel a sense of calm. It's felt like a hectic week. I feel like I've been burning the candle at both ends and I don't feel like I've been a great person. I haven't been ugly, but I've just felt flustered. Feeling flustered isn't something I'm accustomed to. I'm just not a flustery person. And I've felt stressed.
This morning, it hit me. Right smack dab in the middle of the face. I need to slow down. I need to soak it in.
I have a tendency to overdo it. I know I do. My husband helps me with this. Our family motto is "Simplify." Great in concept, hard to do (for me at least).
The fact of the matter is I like to do. I thrive doing. I like to engage in meaningful things. And I like to give back. But sometimes? Sometimes I get so caught up in the doing, planning, and making that I don't take the time to sit down and soak it in.
I don't want to just rush anymore. I rush getting ready in the morning, making breakfast, and hitting the gym before work. I rush through my workout and getting ready at the gym again. I rush during my lunch. I rush to fit in a run, then rush to get dinner started, a shower for myself, and ready to greet my sweet little family when they walk in the door. KT and I rush through cleaning the kitchen (my husband is a saint of a man) so we have quality time to play with our boys before it's bath time. I rush through bath time so I can try to steal a few minutes with my husband while the boys are playing in the tub because I just need those few minutes/that connection with him everyday. We read a few stories and say our prayers, and most nights, I just fall asleep.
In 2013, I'm making some changes because I know I can't be the best for my family or myself when I rush.
During the remainder of the holiday season, I want to just soak it in. I want to soak in the beauty of our Christmas tree and house decorated for Christmas while we wrap the last of the presents. I want to soak up some quiet moments with my husband to cherish from our first married Christmas. I want to make cookies for Santa and not worry about the mess they'll make and having to get it cleaned up. I want to read the Christmas Story, Twas the Night Before Christmas, and finish our Advent Calendar. I want to soak in the hustle and bustle and pick up a few last stocking stuffers. I want to sing Christmas carols at church. I want to soak in the enjoyment of seeing our sweet boys on Christmas morning. I want to soak it in. I want to soak them in.