Hold On

I intended to post today about how I've accomplished many of the things I wanted to accomplish in January. I wanted to post about the book I read, the race I ran and the other things we've done.  But I'm not.  Instead, I'm posting what's on my heart.

My heart is heavy today.  So very heavy.  It's been heavy for a while, but it's extra heavy today.

January has been a tough month for us.  A really tough month.  My husband lost his job.  I dealt with some weird illness/strained muscle thing which isn't anything in the big scheme of things but was a huge thing to me. And this week, so many loved ones are hurting.

I got a notebook from KT for Christmas that's pink and yellow chevron {little details like that make me smile} and it has my new name on the front {that makes me smile bigger}.  That's not important, but what's important is what's inside.

All month, I've been discovering verses that have spoken to me.  Verses that have brought me comfort and strength.  Verses that have given me hope.

I've needed to read these all month and I needed to read these today.

I'm a happy / hopeful / joyful / optimistic person by nature.  I'm a transparent person, too.  With me, I like to think what you see is what you get.  But with that same outlook and attitude comes comes other things, too.  Those things like holding in your thoughts / not wanting to always show your true emotions because you're always the happy, upbeat one / silently struggling for the words to say and not to say.  You don't want to cause stress or worry and it's just easier to keep your stresses and worries to yourself and just let everyone else share theirs.

Today,  I think for the first time in my life, I really believed the thing that I've said over and over "God made me the way he did in regards to things like this because there are people who need me to listen, people who need me to encourage them and there are people who can't find that encouragement on their own."  I've always felt semi-cursed {I think that's too strong of a word, but the only one that I can think of that seems to fit} that I'm this way, but today, I've seen it as a true blessing in its entirety for the first time.

You see, I've gone through some pretty tough things.  I've experienced moments of utter despair and hopelessness that those on the outside would not have ever seen.  I've pieced myself together bit by bit with lots of prayer and scripture reading {and exercise if I'm being completely honest}.  I've put on a happy face when I've been hurting inside.  I've felt totally and completely alone. And that's tough.

The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. He's been working really hard all around us.  But you know what that tells me?  It tells me that he sees God in us, in our family and in our friends.  He seems our relationships with our Father and he doesn't like it.

When you're feeling down, distressed and discouraged, remember that there is One constant: God is always there.  I pray that these verses speak to you the way they've spoken to me and that you find encouragement, hope and peace.

He is before all things and in Him, all things hold together.  
Colossians 1:17

Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!
Luke 1:45

Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.
Psalm 9:10

As so it was that she, having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised.
Hebrews 6:15

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He'll make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purposes.
Romans 8:28