Last week was a relaxing week. Seriously. I'm not prone to really sitting down and relaxing much, but last week was, and truthfully, looking back, it was much needed. It was the first week in my recent memory that we didn't have anything we had to do. Sure, there were things that needed to be done around the house and things we did, but nothing we had to do. No places we had to be at certain times. It was great, and I really think I needed it after the busy holiday season.
During the last week, we watched more movies than we probably saw all of last year. We cooked dinner at home, I read some and I even got those things that I always want to do each week - things like menu planning - done.
Last night, as I was standing in the kitchen deboning chicken for some chicken and rice I'm making tonight and snapping the ends off of some butter beans, I was watching Kevin and the boys play basketball. In those totally not quiet moments, I just kept thinking "thank you." I love my life - as chaotic as it sometimes is - and I'm so thankful for my sweet little family.
But sometimes, I can get overwhelmed. Mostly, this is my fault as a strong characteristic of mine is to try to do it all well, but mostly, I know I can't. I can't do everything for everyone and be everything for everyone - something I finally realized a few years ago.
When it comes down to it, there are a few things I really want to do well.
I want to be the best, loving wife I can be for my husband. I want to be tuned in to those things that matter to him, support him, listen to him and be there for him. I want to be the kind of wife he's happy to come home to and I want him to always know how loved, cared for and really, cherished, he is by my actions.
As a mother, I want the boys to know that they are our most special gifts and spending time with them is the best thing in the world. I want them to know that I'm their biggest cheerleader, their best friend and love them more than anything in this world. I want them to know I'm all in whether we're reading a book, building with blocks or cheering them on at practice.
I also want to be the best daughter, sister and friend that I can be. I want to know areas where I can serve and I want to do it joyfully. I want to do my best to share Jesus with those I come in contact with and I want to continue placing priority on running stronger and being healthier.
All these things are fine and good, but I realize that without a firm foundation, without rest and without renewal - I can't be my best at these things.
This morning, my daily devotion had a reference to Isaiah 58:11. When I read this verse, I related.
Chaos will happen, toast will get burnt, mornings will be hectic and bedtime will sometimes be long, but with God as my source, He will strengthen me and give me rest when I'm weary. He will give me those things that I need to be my best for Him and for my people. And with His help, He won't let me fail.
So to those of you who are reading: whether you try to do it all or be it all, are tired from stress or the everyday and for those of you who may be struggling to feel fully there and feel like you're just getting by on a thread, hang in there and turn it over to Him. He'll give you rest and on top of that, fill you with what you need. Just trust Him.