Have you ever had one of those moments when you know God is telling you something? When you know that He's showing you something?
I had one of those earlier this week.
One of the first things I do when I get to work in the morning, is read a short devotional from the Journey magazine I get from church (it's published by Lifeway and is a great resource). On this particular day, the devotion was centered on wisdom and the author talked about how as moms, the decisions we make that are as small as what we feed our kids for breakfast really reverberate through our entire family.
As I read it, my mind began to go somewhere else. Instead of thinking about those decisions I make as a wife and mom, I started thinking about myself as a child and that's all thanks to my seven year old.
You see, last week he missed school on Friday because he was sick. Friday is typically test day and he had three tests. He was going to take his tests on Monday, so after church on Sunday, I gave him the choice to go over spelling in the car while we drove home from lunch so we'd only have a few things to do that afternoon at home or he could do it all at home. He chose to do it all at home.
When we got home, we played and had some fun family time, but then our youngest asked for a nap (very rare!). This was, to me, the perfect time to get our studying done, but it was a different story for him. He wanted to play. He didn't want to spell twenty words, he didn't want to go over the classification of animals, and most of all, he didn't want to read his story for his reading test because he said it had too many words (it was a long story). He just didn't want to do it. In his mind, it wasn't the right time and it wasn't what he wanted to do. He just wanted to play with his toys and have fun.
What should have taken about 30 minutes turned into a process that took well over an hour all because the mindset was not what it typically is when it's time to study. All because it was Sunday afternoon and Sunday afternoons are meant for fun and laughter.
When I read my devotion the next morning, I thought back to the afternoon before and I thought about my own life. My son made the decision to do all of his work at once, while I would have preferred for him to have practiced his words in the car so we would have had only a few minutes of work at home. I gave him the choice and he made what he thought was the better decision.
Oh, how this relates to my life.
How many times have I felt the Lord nudging me in one direction and I've chosen to turn the other way because it was easier, more convenient, or lined up with what I wanted to do? How many times has my Father been patient with me while I've done the opposite of what He's called me to do? How many times has the Lord been waiting there for me with open arms ready to embrace me, His child, when I finally decide that maybe my way isn't so great after all? How many times?
As a parent, I want to lead and guide my children to make the best decisions that they can. I want to equip them with the knowledge they need to know right from wrong and I want to show them, with my own life, how to live.
Isn't that what our Jesus does? He's shown us that life works best when He's the center. He's given us His Word to write on our hearts. He's lived as a man and has faced temptation, but He didn't give in. He is a model for us.
Just like I want to catch my children when they fall, just like I want to nudge them to make the decision that wisdom has shown me as best, and just like I want to hold them and love them every minute of every day, my Jesus feels that way about me. He wants to pick me up, wants to guide me, and wants me to feel His love and grace, but just as our children will fall, just as they'll make mistakes, and just as they'll want to play, I'll do the same.
Lord, open our eyes that we see you, open our hearts to your guidance, and let our actions reflect that great Love that you have lavished us with abundantly. We are your children.